Hi everyone,

I just watched last week's replay. I love to write, and I felt compelled to share a few stories. Because of my work schedule, I often can't make the live classes right now. But I wanted to share, in case it would help anyone feel less alone. I really empathized with Tania's healing in the class.

I'm currently 41 years old. Over three years ago, I had a session with Cyndi. I almost didn't have this session that day because of a mix-up of timing (no one's fault but this kind of interference happening!), but Cyndi graciously took me a bit later that day anyway.

Long story short, at that time I had been dealing with about six years of many things Tania mentioned, as well as other ways of feeling blocked by forces that weren't my own. I was very ambitious and had tried dozens of ways to use my gifts. Nothing panned out.

I also deeply desired greater connections and many more local friends whose lives I could actually take part in, not just meet for lunch every two months and *discuss* our lives.

Other than my husband, and another karmic connection who I considered my best friend and which was healthy at that time, every attempt at connection I made either went nowhere or ended up in me being pushed away by others.

Or me leaving a connection or group because of misunderstandings or me standing up for what I felt was moral, which wasn't being practiced in said group. And I had really tried to put good energies out there, at least until being hurt yet again by some person or group.

Cyndi told me in that session that she spotted deflection shields around my *entire auric field*, as well as very strong ones around my heart, blocking my heart's desires. She said at that time that they were some of the worst she'd ever seen.

She traced it back to a past life where I'd been a princess on another planet and had had many gifts and much power and happiness. Many people had become jealous of me, had taken my powers, and had trapped me in like this prison environment. And that's why I felt so trapped, literally, then and in this life.

Cyndi asked for the deflection shields to be released.

Even so, not much else shifted in my individual life after that. Then, during the isolation of the pandemic, which topped off so much previous isolation in my life, I came to a point when I really didn't want to be here anymore. Last summer, I found out why.

Apparently I also had a curse cord from 12 of my male paternal ancestors who had been so bitter about all of their hardship from the last time they lived here that they were seriously draining my energy and blocking more good things from me. I worked with Carol on this, and she said that cord was as strong as stone.

I had suspected since 2015 that I "felt cursed," even before any more of my intuitive gifts came in. I had been told once in one of my first meditation attempts which was around that time--before I knew about gatekeepers or protection--that 12 spirits would always be around me to help me. Now I know more about exactly who those 12 "helping" spirits were....

I'm not sure if I was going for how difficult I could make this lifetime be for myself or not, when I was making some of those soul contracts....or if some were ones I hadn't made at all! Haha!

Incidentally, months after that curse was dissolved, one of those ancestors came face to face with a practice partner I had in a previous healing class, still demanding to be seen. So I asked angels to surround me and essentially did the "transformation" part of this process, which I did intuitively without even being aware of that concept then! My guides tell me those ancestors are all getting therapy over there now, thank goodness.....

After that curse got dissolved, I was actually able to get a job for the first time in eight years, which is part time, has a long commute, but at least the people treat me decently there.

Sadly, I had to release ties with my then best friend, as that person joined a new community and then drastically changed how she related to me. My guides have told me that she was/is likely being blocked by too much interference on her own end, and so she couldn't support me in continuing a deeper friendship with her and assisting in some of my biggest dreams around serving and interacting with seniors, and having many more connections and a stable like-minded community.

My guides told me that she was supposed to have helped me but seemingly chose not to. The interference is getting in her way. But I don't think her mind has the insight yet to acknowledge, request, or accept that kind of healing. I have been told that she will likely get that insight someday when her soul transitions.

My guides also told me, the day after I broke things off with her, that I had now accomplished everything I had wanted to for my own soul contract for this life. So I guess I was supposed to have stood up to her if she treated me the way she did.

(Her soul and mine had been switching off being mother and daughter to each other for many lifetimes, although this time, the interference seemingly prevented even that from happening. I got here much later than planned, and she got here much earlier.)

And now.... I *still* sense that there is something about my energy which just seems to overwhelm so many people here, even after all that interference is gone. I have a session scheduled next month to work on that, along with better understanding my soul contract.

My guides have told me that, along with the curse, I brought in the 5D energies even from birth. So people who are still committed to the 3D vibes seemingly won't resonate with me. So far, locally and available in person for deeper connections, that seems to be....just about everyone?? Lol. Maybe that will shift for me more over the next decade if the 5D energies become more accepted here?

I was supposed to have come here in the 1940s for this lifetime and likely would have transitioned back by now with that soul contract. But that didn't work out.

So I've been trying to re-write my contract, but I don't even know where else to look to get more of my in-person friendship and community needs met at this point. I now sense that it was actually one of my goals to overcome not wanting to stay here, as I likely didn't stay in a previous lifetime. Checking off that box. I'm staying here, but I sure would love more joy and community and frequent in-person connections!

I still have so many gifts to share and so few ways to share them more publicly. I'm still struggling to get out the memoir I wrote five years ago, as the ebook formatting didn't work out and it might likely cost several hundred to get that done professionally.

Just like Tania, I've done so much work on myself. My sense of self-worth, self-love, sense of deservingness is really high. I *know* I am worthy and deserving of much more joy and love and purpose and community, at least consciously! I *want* to be interdependent, not codependent, and I am *tired* of sacrificing so much I want in my life for any possible reasons! So perhaps more details will come to light with my upcoming session and over time.

Just felt compelled to share these stories, perhaps to help people feel less alone, to show that this can be an ongoing process if apparently there may be strong energies from many places right now that just want to feed off of our bright lights.

I think the transformation part of this process is invaluable, because that way, the entities doing these things to us can actually feel validated and seen by us, not just continuously unwanted or hated or unworthy.

They still have to choose to heal, but it's obviously because their souls are in deep pain that they have chosen to try to steal our energies. Lessons in forgiveness and compassion of self and others abound with all of these kinds of experiences, for sure!

Thanks for reading all of this--as I said, I am a practiced writer. And may we all be free to live the lives we deserve and know that we aren't supposed to be islands, or hate so much how our lives are turning out due to other forces, or struggle *quite* this much while we are here in human form! 🙂